If any of these behaviors were present in your relationship the first time around—or if you often felt isolated, sad, trapped, criticized, belittled, or afraid—don’t go back.Consider your freedom, as lonely as it might seem right now, a gift. Love and hope are powerful emotions, as is our fear of being alone.These people wish they would’ve stayed broken up and moved on to other prospects.If you’re considering—or simply longing for—getting back together with a former partner, how do you know which way your story will turn out?You realize that the “significant” things that bothered you before are actually insignificant. If you broke up with someone once, you want to make a calculated, well-considered decision before getting back together.That process is helped along by honestly addressing important questions, such as: • During our relationship, did we bring out the best in each other?In between, there are a LOTS of big mistakes to make.Commit too many errors, and you'll lose your one chance at ever dating your ex again.
• Are we considering getting back together because we’re lonely, or do we agree that we had something special that is worth fighting for?
So it can be tempting to justify toxic behavior with the hope that things will be different this time.
While change at a deep level is certainly possible, it’s not likely.
Certain behaviors are incompatible with a healthy, long-term romantic partnership.
These include addictions, emotional or physical abuse, and character issues such as lying, stealing or cheating.
If you’re debating whether to get back together with someone, remember: Reuniting with someone you’re pretty sure is wrong for you is never a healthy choice, even if it feels right at the moment.