I’ve recently been following two stories on Madame Noire regarding black men and their dating choices. ’ ‘She’s only with you because of this.’ It’s sad because honestly if anybody knows me, all the girls I’ve dated, I’ve dated girls who’ve been as black as Akon and white as Casper. She could be blue, green or yellow and it would have been her.” [SOURCE]So here’s two very public examples of black men getting flack for dating light skinned women and non-black women. Black women also get the pushback when we date interracially, so isn’t it even? There are four key differences between black men getting criticism of their dating choices rather than the other way around. Patriarchy allows for men to date and marry anyone they want.The first was a piece about a self-proclaimed “dark skin activist” calling out Kendrick Lamar for having an extremely fair skinned fiancé. Despite all the complaining, guilting, lip smacking and neck rolling, a black man will ultimately and unapologetically do whatever the hell he wants. Check out the last 40 years of black men dating and marrying non-black women. Yeah, that’s happening, despite any objections their mammas, sisters, and jilted black girlfriends and ex-wives have to say about.That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.
Umkay…no one accuses black men of not being black anymore when they hook up with white chicks.
Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.
It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating services.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.
I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.